To My Baby Boy

My Darling Lathan,

Today is officially one week until I return to work! Wow! The time with you has flown because we have had so much fun together. Today I introduced you to the wonderful teachers and staff that I work with, as well as, the students that fill my day with joy. You were a trooper today! You even napped in the midst of all the noises of an elementary school!

You have filled my heart with more love than I could have ever imagined knowing. You have taught me so much about who I am, what my strengths and weaknesses are and how to be a good mother to you. I have enjoyed all things that are "Lathan" and look forward to all that is to come. I love that every morning when I wake up to your noises and walk into your room, you stare up at me and greet me with a smile, as if I am exactly who you wanted to see. I love that you will fall asleep in my arms. I enjoy every moment with you! It makes me happy to know that I have learned all of your noises, when you are bored or hungry or tired. Together we have made it through each tiny achievement that has felt like a huge milestone. Today you laughed at me. It made my heart smile. I am so grateful for the time that we have had together to become a family. Your Daddy has learned and loved right along side of me, and for that, I am so thankful!

Everyone keeps asking me if I am ready to go back...I keep saying that I am excited to return. And while I look forward to being there for the students and teachers, truth be told, I'm not ready. I never will be. I imagine that at any age, leaving you will break my heart. I keep thinking that if I have a good attitude about it, it won't be as painful. My mom always said to do everything with a happy on your face. Well, I am...but right now, my happy is forced. I know sitting on this side of it, maybe it feels bigger than it will be after I experience it. But for now, my heart is heavy with the thought of missing out on your day and having to wait for hours before snuggling you close or kissing your cheek. I pray that God will give me the strength to make it through the longest 7 weeks of my life. My goal will be to squeeze all the loving that I am giving you now, into a few less hours! I know I can do it!

So, in this last week I have with you all to myself (until the SUMMER!) I will spoil you by snuggling you more, dancing with you longer, singing just one more song, and letting you fall asleep in my arms and stay...just a few more minutes. And after all of that, knowing that perhaps it wasn't done to spoil you, but rather to spoil me.

Love always,

Mommy